Hey guys! Listen, when I came back from the teaching I did in the last mission, I saw a flyer on a house about something called a mystery play. I read that they were auditioning today! I went home and did some research about this type of play. I found out that a mystery play is a type of medieval drama based on religious events or saints. It sounded like a fun way to pass the time, so I decided to audition for a part in the play. I'm heading there now!
*past tense* When I arrived at the address it said, I went up to the door and knocked. A poised man came to the door.
"Hello. Are you here for the audition?" The man asked.
"Uh, yeah. So, should I come in?"
"Yes, please! Try your might against our judge! Customary of course."
Uh oh, I thought. A judge? What if I screw up? What if I embarrass myself? What if I-
Shut up, self! I slapped myself in the face.
"Umm," the man said, "Are you going to come in or not?"
"Uhh, yeah. Sure." I nervously spoke.
When I went in, I saw that this place was pretty cool! It had a stage, a table, and a chair with a guy in it! Wow! This. Place. Sucks. This, this, this waste of materials needed to create it is the worst thing I've ever seen! I think I'm going way under my head. But, these people are nice, so I guess I should at least try.
When I walked onto the stage, a man said,
"You're hired!"
I was confused.
"What do you mean I'm hired? I haven't even said anything!"
"Listen, can you keep a secret?"
I nodded.
"Our play is a bust. No one wants to be in our play. Can you play, in our play?"
"...Um, I-I guess so."
The two men cheered.
"Thank you so much! I can't express my gratitude enough! Listen, can you play all of the parts in the play?"
I stopped.
"Wait, what do you mean?"
"Well," the man said, "Since no one showed up, we don't have anybody to play the parts! The greeter is terrible, and, well, I'm too old to play any of the parts. But you, you my good sir, are perfect!"
"Well, how much will you pay me?"
They paused.
"Uhhh, can we pay you in potatoes?"
We had been practicing all night, and I had decided that I was ready. I had been at the theater for more than 48 hours straight, and finally I memorized all my lines.
"Okay people," spoke the greeter, "Tonight's the night, and I think we have it down! We're going on in 10 minutes!"
I agreed, but only because I wanted to get out of that place.
5 hours later, we finally decided that show mustn't go on.
"Why God? WHY!?!?!?!?" Screamed the old guy.
"The greeter cried and wet his pants.
"Jeez, what is wrong with you guys? The play's a bust, I get it. Actually, I already knew that when I walked in. No offence. But we can still do the show for ourselves! Besides, I'm still getting paid for this. Right?"
"I guess so." The old guy said.
"Okay, let's take it from the top!"
Enter Jesus.
"Jesus was good." I said.
End of Act.
"Wooo, we did it! Good job Slim! Here's your potatoes." The greeter said.
I realized I spent 48 HOURS ON 3 WORDS! I also knew I would never get those hours back from that stupid regime. I took the potatoes and ran out of there. I went to my hotel and passed out in the lobby.
*past tense* When I arrived at the address it said, I went up to the door and knocked. A poised man came to the door.
"Hello. Are you here for the audition?" The man asked.
"Uh, yeah. So, should I come in?"
"Yes, please! Try your might against our judge! Customary of course."
Uh oh, I thought. A judge? What if I screw up? What if I embarrass myself? What if I-
Shut up, self! I slapped myself in the face.
"Umm," the man said, "Are you going to come in or not?"
"Uhh, yeah. Sure." I nervously spoke.
When I went in, I saw that this place was pretty cool! It had a stage, a table, and a chair with a guy in it! Wow! This. Place. Sucks. This, this, this waste of materials needed to create it is the worst thing I've ever seen! I think I'm going way under my head. But, these people are nice, so I guess I should at least try.
When I walked onto the stage, a man said,
"You're hired!"
I was confused.
"What do you mean I'm hired? I haven't even said anything!"
"Listen, can you keep a secret?"
I nodded.
"Our play is a bust. No one wants to be in our play. Can you play, in our play?"
"...Um, I-I guess so."
The two men cheered.
"Thank you so much! I can't express my gratitude enough! Listen, can you play all of the parts in the play?"
I stopped.
"Wait, what do you mean?"
"Well," the man said, "Since no one showed up, we don't have anybody to play the parts! The greeter is terrible, and, well, I'm too old to play any of the parts. But you, you my good sir, are perfect!"
"Well, how much will you pay me?"
They paused.
"Uhhh, can we pay you in potatoes?"
We had been practicing all night, and I had decided that I was ready. I had been at the theater for more than 48 hours straight, and finally I memorized all my lines.
"Okay people," spoke the greeter, "Tonight's the night, and I think we have it down! We're going on in 10 minutes!"
I agreed, but only because I wanted to get out of that place.
5 hours later, we finally decided that show mustn't go on.
"Why God? WHY!?!?!?!?" Screamed the old guy.
"The greeter cried and wet his pants.
"Jeez, what is wrong with you guys? The play's a bust, I get it. Actually, I already knew that when I walked in. No offence. But we can still do the show for ourselves! Besides, I'm still getting paid for this. Right?"
"I guess so." The old guy said.
"Okay, let's take it from the top!"
Enter Jesus.
"Jesus was good." I said.
End of Act.
"Wooo, we did it! Good job Slim! Here's your potatoes." The greeter said.
I realized I spent 48 HOURS ON 3 WORDS! I also knew I would never get those hours back from that stupid regime. I took the potatoes and ran out of there. I went to my hotel and passed out in the lobby.
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