Hey. *Sigh*. Man, am I bored! It's stinky, dirty and dark in here. I'm just sitting here in a stupid jail cell for pretending to be a Jew in Jerusalem in the year 1099. Grrrrrr, I hate those stupid Crusaders! They killed my friends, and you'll find out soon enough what I'll do for revenge. Aww, you guys already know I'm going to kill them! But before we come to that, here's how I ended up in this mess.
"Hey, look! It's the Dome of the Rock! Let's go!" Said my best friend, Ezekiel.
"Naw, we visited that a million times! Let's see the Western Wall!" Yelled my other best friend, Joshua.
We decided to visit the Western Wall. It's famous for being the only remaining part of the temple Herod built. While we were walking to it, a huge army of Crusaders marched into the city. They started slaughtering everyone!
"Hey! What are you doing? That's my job!" I yelled.
"They all turned towards me. There must have been at least 35,000 soldiers there.
"Uhhh," I faltered. I had never attacked so many soldiers at once. They immediately charged at me and killed my friends.
"No one kills my friends!" I screamed.
I transformed into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and stomped on dozens of them. But these guys were smart, and they had me down and tied up in an instant. What they did was they threw rope around my legs and tripped me. Then they tied me up. Yeah, I got owned there. They took me as prisoner. How humiliating. And there were girls watching too!
They dragged me to this cell, and here I am. So, that wraps it up. And now I will escape my cell and kill my way out of here. Stay tuned for more! Oh wait, this isn't Prison Break. Well, that was downright dumb. Anyways, I'm going to switch it back to past tense so it's easier for you to read.
*past tense* I transformed my finger into a skeleton key (a key that fits into any lock) and easily unlocked the cell door.
"Hey, you there! Stop!" A couple of guards said.
I turned my arm into a machete and killed them. Another group of Crusaders attacked me, but they were no match for my sword arm. I guess I didn't have any alliances in there. I scurried out the door. I ordered a hotel room at the local hotel. They refused because they were Christian and didn't like me because they thought I was a Jew. I killed them and took the key to the Presidential Suite, the best room in the hotel. I slept comfortably.
"Hey, look! It's the Dome of the Rock! Let's go!" Said my best friend, Ezekiel.
"Naw, we visited that a million times! Let's see the Western Wall!" Yelled my other best friend, Joshua.
We decided to visit the Western Wall. It's famous for being the only remaining part of the temple Herod built. While we were walking to it, a huge army of Crusaders marched into the city. They started slaughtering everyone!
"Hey! What are you doing? That's my job!" I yelled.
"They all turned towards me. There must have been at least 35,000 soldiers there.
"Uhhh," I faltered. I had never attacked so many soldiers at once. They immediately charged at me and killed my friends.
"No one kills my friends!" I screamed.
I transformed into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and stomped on dozens of them. But these guys were smart, and they had me down and tied up in an instant. What they did was they threw rope around my legs and tripped me. Then they tied me up. Yeah, I got owned there. They took me as prisoner. How humiliating. And there were girls watching too!
They dragged me to this cell, and here I am. So, that wraps it up. And now I will escape my cell and kill my way out of here. Stay tuned for more! Oh wait, this isn't Prison Break. Well, that was downright dumb. Anyways, I'm going to switch it back to past tense so it's easier for you to read.
*past tense* I transformed my finger into a skeleton key (a key that fits into any lock) and easily unlocked the cell door.
"Hey, you there! Stop!" A couple of guards said.
I turned my arm into a machete and killed them. Another group of Crusaders attacked me, but they were no match for my sword arm. I guess I didn't have any alliances in there. I scurried out the door. I ordered a hotel room at the local hotel. They refused because they were Christian and didn't like me because they thought I was a Jew. I killed them and took the key to the Presidential Suite, the best room in the hotel. I slept comfortably.
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