M6 Uganda is a Country?!

     Hey everyone, and welcome to the first episode of my new TV show, Uganda is a Country! Can you understand me through my thick Australian accent? I hope so, because you're going to be hearing about the great vegetation, animals & natural beauties of Uganda, all narrated by me, Jack Akaroyd! Slim was out sick this week, so he called me to do a funny blog post for him. Well, let's get started! Right after this short break.
     Eat Flaked Frosts! They're Grrrrrrross!
     Nap Continent, Russia! Please buy a mattress anywhere else! *ding*!
     Alright, and we're back to Uganda is a Country! I've just found the tracks of a very popular Ugandan animal, the gorilla! The gorilla can be up to 400 lb & can grow to become 5'6". They're predominately herbivores. They eat leaves, fruit, seeds, tree bark, plant bulbs, tender plant shoots, and flowers. They're extremely calm and gentle, so we can just walk right up to him and say hello! Well, hello there, Mr. Gorilla! I'm hoping to make an alliance with you! How are- "RARARWARARWWARA!!!" AHHHHH! It's really angry!!! Run, camera guy, run! I want you to catch all this!!! He's grabbed me by the foot and is lifting me from the ground!!! AHHHHH- We'll be right back.
     Hi, it's me, Jardered! I used SubmarineWay to lose 100's of battleships attacking me, why can't you? "SubmarineWay, Eat Torpedo!"
     "Silly rabbit, Kix are for kids!" *rabbit* "Okay, here's some more!" *kick, kick, ULTRA-KICK* "That'll teach those stupid kids. Kix!"

     *breathing heavily* Okay folks, we just escaped the gorilla. Errr, I mean, I escaped. The camera guy got eaten by the only man-eating gorilla in the world, Bobo the Gorilla. And I learned something else: Gorillas are extremely hostile and deadly. Do not ever approach these creatures, or you're probably going to die. And now, I am completely lost with no idea what I'm going to do. This is where we switch to our new show, Man vs. Uganda! Hi, I'm Jack Akaroyd, and  I don't know why we're switching shows. 

Anyways, I've just wandered to the edge of a waterfall. It's called Murcheson Falls! Also known as Kabarega Falls, the Murcheson Falls are located in the north of Uganda. It's between Lake Victoria and Lake Albert. I'm so glad this show is on the air, so people can really learn how life is like in Uganda. Hmmmm, I'll just move this log in the river and we can be on our way. No, wait, that isn't a log. Crikey, it's a crocodile! Lucky for me, Steve Erwin taught me how to tangle with these beasts just before he died. I just have to get on top of him and-*blurble glurb blublublublublurg (drowning)* We'll be back after these short messages. Ahhhhh! He's eating my face!
     If you don't want a terrible afterlife, eat at Buddha King! It's the only fast food place that not only doesn't kill you, but also gives you a better second life! Or third, or fourth, or-
     Go to Blockbasher! Sorry, we've gone bankrupt and this was the only thing we could afford.
     Hey, it's me, Slim again. I just got back from the doctor, and he said that my awesomeness cured me of my illness. But on a serious note, I would like to give my condolences to the family of Jack, and whomever might have known him. He died from a crocodile eating his face. Anyways, that's all the time we have, and our show will no longer be on TV, so thank you for watching! I'm gonna go hit the sack. *OOF*. Oww, that didn't make me go to sleep. Alright, you can go now viewers. Stop snickering, it's not that funny! Ugghhh, I feel like a buffoon. I'm out of here.